Hardest Day of My Life

Today was my first day back at work and it was the hardest day of my life. I woke up at 5:30 am and bawled my eyes out. I did not want to take my little man to day care. I wasn't ready for this. We left the house at 7:00 am and I cried the entire way to Mrs. L's house.  Luckily I was able to get it together to take him inside and drop him off. Grayson was fine and didn't even make a peep. I took one more look at him and kissed him goodbye. I barely made it out the door before I started bawling again.

I cried the entire way to work. It was a long hour and a half drive thanks to a wreck. I have never felt so sad and guilty in my life. I pulled it together when I got to work but lost it again when everyone started asking about Grayson. I tried to get to work but all I could think about was how much I missed Grayson. I kept looking at the clock to see if it was time to leave. I called to check on him about noon and Mrs. L told me he was doing fine but he had been a little fussy and wasn't to interested in eating. I then regretted calling because I started bawling all over again.

Finally it was time to leave and I drove as fast as I could to go pick him up. I finally got to Mrs. L's and he smiled at me when I took him from Mrs. L's arms. She said it was the first smile from him all day. My heart was so happy that he missed me. Now we are home and I am contemplating skipping dinner because I don't want to put him down. Yes, I am typing one handed.

This was the hardest day of my life. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I sure hope this gets easier like every one keeps telling me. I don't know how all of you working moms do this.